What will counselling do for you?
You are unique. There is no one else in the world quite like you, and to get the best outcome from counselling
you need to select a counsellor who is right for you.
Working with the right therapist may, amongst other good things bring you these rewards:
• Reduced stress and anxiety
• Increased sense of wellbeing and happiness
• Fewer negative thoughts about yourself
• Fewer self-sabotaging behaviours,
• Improvement in your personal relationships
• More ease in your social, work, and family situations
• More ease with intimacy
• More self-confidence
These changes in your life will only happen if you want them enough that you are prepared to work for them.
No matter how good your counsellor is, their efforts, without your involvement will not benefit you at all.
What makes a good counsellor?
Research shows that what you get out of counselling mainly depends on your relationship with your
counsellor, and that relationship is deepened and strengthened if:
• your counsellor feels an unconditional warmth for you,
• they accept you fully just as you are,
• they try to understand what it’s like to be you (and have some success),
• they hope for and expect a positive outcome from the work they are doing with you, and
• they are able to win your trust so you can both work together to achieve your goal.
These qualities in your counsellor are better clues to a successful outcome from counselling than any other
factors. The sex of the therapist, their age, qualifications, or the model of therapy they use are less important
predictors of a positive outcome from your episode of counselling than a comfortable, warm, trusting
relationship with them.
Even so counselling is not for the faint hearted. Although having the right therapist makes it easier, talking
about unpleasant things that have happened in your past can still cause you discomfort, or even distress. So
it’s quite common for you to feel worse before you feel better. And because you are a unique individual, there
is no fixed time scale in which you can achieve your desired change.
Well, you’ve found the right counsellor and you’re prepared to put in the work. But still there can be no
guaranteed positive outcome. There are a myriad of reasons why this may be: one of them could be that now
just isn’t the right time for you; there are too many things going on in your life for you to focus on yourself, so
perhaps you should leave trying to change yourself until some later time when you are able to prioritise your
Some people when they set out on their journey of personal growth travel quickly and easily along the path,
but for others the road can be long, bumpy, slow and frustrating. All the same, a journey of 1,000 miles begins
with the first step, and if you are ready to take that step, why not ring or email me now to make an
appointment so we can plan your route together and get you off to a good start.
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