Whatever type of Grief and loss you’ve suffered, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. But by understanding the stages and types of grief, you can find healthier ways to cope.
What Is Grief?
Grief can be painful because losing someone who was important to you can be very painful and can be accompanied by strong emotions. But grief itself is not a disease. It cannot be repaired, cured or leave.
The sadness and pain you feel usually lessen over time. Most people find that they can adjust to life without the dead. But there is no timetable for how long this will take because everyone is different. When you’re grieving, it’s important to be kind to yourself and do what you think is right.
You may feel that sad experiences have changed you—but most people find that, over time, they can enjoy life again. Always remember that it is normal to grieve, and realize that there are times when you don’t think of the deceased as often.
The Grieving Process
Mourning is a highly personal experience. losing a loved one is always hard! There is no right or wrong way to grieve. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping styles, your life experiences, your beliefs, and what loss means to you.
The grieving process inevitably takes time. Healing is gradual; it cannot be forced or rushed—and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better after a few weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Regardless of your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and let the process unfold naturally.
I have taken a snippet from the blog by Helpguide.org about the myths and facts on Grief and Loss:
| Myths and facts about grief and grieving |
| Myth: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it. |
| Myth: It’s important to “be strong” in the face of loss. Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you. |
| Myth: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss. Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it. |
| Myth: Grieving should last about a year. Fact: There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from person to person. |
| Myth: Moving on with your life means forgetting about your loss. Fact: Moving on means you’ve accepted your loss—but that’s not the same as forgetting. You can move on with your life and keep the memory of someone or something you lost as an important part of you. In fact, as we move through life, these memories can become more and more integral to defining the people we are. |
How Long Does Grief and Loss Last?
People often ask how long their grief will last. But no one can answer that question for you, because everyone’s situation is different, and each bereavement we experience is different.
No matter how you feel, it’s important to try to be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to process your grief. Read more about taking care of yourself while grieving. You may experience varying degrees of grief over a period of months or years.
Over time, most people find that those sad feelings are not always there, and they become better at coping with them. Then, sometimes the sense of loss becomes stronger. Anniversaries, birthdays, or visiting a special place could be the reason for this. But maybe you just don’t know why you’re feeling intense sadness and loss again.
Getting Support
You don’t have to go through the grieving process alone. There are many ways to get support, whether you prefer to talk to someone in person or join an online community. Even if you feel that you are doing well and coping well with everyday life, you may still seek grief counselling to help you deal with grief
As always please see links for other blog posts on this website, and if you need to talk about your own personal experiences or would like to arrange to see a counselor in Manchester or Online, then please leave me a message below
